Between Belief and Disbelief
I received my first letter since proposing a podcast. Here’s my reply to some questions and musings.
I find it challenging to set aside belief and disbelief when writing you. For instance, I feel inclined to believe that I am a fan of your podcast, even though it has only just begun. Come to think of it, I suppose letting go of preconceptions is necessary to create anything new. Could you address this?
That is a lovely insight. To wrap it into a metaphor, disbelief and belief are different sides of the same coin. Both are limiting factors, blocking the creation of anything new.
What I am about to say could go against some preconceptions you may or may not have.
You mentioned having some difficulty navigating belief and disbelief when it comes to concluding whether or not you are a fan of my work. This difficulty you mention reminds me of a quote I published to my website: "Within the mind, conclusions are mere illusions."
To explain this quote further, the mind is (by design) an inherently divisive instrument. It is a cutting tool. When you make a distinction within yourself between being a fan or not being a fan, you form an identity. Not only do these distinctions create an inner division, but they also tend to manifest into an outward division within society.
For instance, it is one thing to recognize that you are physiologically male, female, or a hermaphrodite. However, identifying with that physical distinction on an internal or psychological level creates inner divisions that manifest into outer divisions and ripple throughout society. The truth is that the mixtures of male and female energies/tendencies are unique within each individual and culture. Those dynamic mixtures change from one moment to the next within each of us and all of us at once.
For the purpose of verbal and written communication, we create distinctions to help others understand what that mixture looks like. However, the best way to understand an individual is via direct, in-person experience. No matter how complex our language regarding gender becomes, our preferred pronouns will never precisely or fully express who we really are. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, so long as we remain wordlessly aware that language and thought are limiting by design and will never come close to encapsulating even the smallest and seemingly simple aspects of reality.
Thus, it is best not to be a fan or not a fan. It is best to see and describe things for what they are. We are family. You are my brother (if you identify as male)—regardless of how near or distant we may be, hanging upon separate branches of our family tree. This is the same for everything that encompasses the universe.
What kind of practices do you embrace?
In the past, I've applied many spiritual practices to my daily life. Breathwork and dancing have been major contributors to my personal awakening. My first spiritual awakening would be a bit too intricate to describe here, but I did write an article about it that I'll attach to this email if you're interested. Keep in mind that it is 3 years old, and the growth I've been through since then has been quite significant. The best way to phrase it would be that I've transformed into a "man" between the ages of 33 and 36. At age 33, I rediscovered that playful, innocent child inside of me that had been suppressed for so long. At age 36, I discovered how to maintain that playful innocence while navigating the world as a sovereign adult. This means living without any sense that there is a paternal or maternal entity of any kind outside of myself that gives me a sense of security I depend on psychologically.
After that initial experience at 33, I experimented with many things, including psychedelics and breathwork from the Wim Hof Method. I didn't get too far with the Wim Hof Method as I was hoping. I wanted to recreate an altered state of consciousness, like that created by DMT, using the Wim Hof Method. I have yet to find a practice that recreates that DMT experience but am totally open to it. The furthest the Wim Hof Method took me was to replicate the sensation of microdosing LSD, which is certainly an accomplishment in and of itself. Reaching this state with breathwork puts you into a flow state. My favorite form of expression when I'm in a flow state is ecstatic dancing.
If you want to try the breathing exercise that tends to give me a sensation similar to microdosing on LSD, I can send you an audio file walking you through the breathing method upon your request. The stated purpose of this breathing method is to reduce inflammation, but it also resulted in me feeling like I had microdosed LSD.
At present, I practice intuitive breathing exercises and occasionally apply breathing exercises from apps like the WHM. I also do a humming practice where I breathe deeply into my belly, chest, and head. Then I perform a long hum until all the air is expelled. I typically do this three times, and it's a calming practice I can use anytime I feel a sense that my neurochemistry is losing balance and disrupting my ability to use my mind with intention.
I even use this practice when I am with my partner and want to bring a greater sense of calm and ease between us. I hum with my lips against her forehead, and that creates a soothing vibration while inspiring us both to intuitively breathe at a slower rate.
I noticed you once referred to yourself as an existential guide. Could you talk about that and what you intend to do with WordBrewer.com?
"Existential guide" is a term I made up a while back because I wasn't sure how to describe what I do. I later realized that many people often misinterpret the word "existential" and associate it with belief systems.
At the moment, I'm guiding others toward letting go of all sensations of identity. This is a complete letting go of the psychological ego. When you're trying to teach others how to let go of their identity, it's a challenge to know what to call yourself because you've essentially come to realize... "I am simultaneously nobody and everybody."
I would love to be friends.
Your wish is the universe’s command. We are friends! My digital doorway is always open to you and everyone else.
I wanted to take more time to perfect this letter but also felt it couldn't wait any longer.
Take time in your writing and speaking to move as slowly or quickly as you wish. There's never any need to force slowness or speed. Starting out at a relatively slow pace is often best, especially for anyone who wishes to reach speeds that seem superhuman to others. Of course, seeming superhuman to others is not the intended purpose. The purpose is to take those others with you up the mountain, as it were.
Note:
Words imperfectly capture truth. What I write is imperfect by nature, but those words point toward a perfect truth that is beyond the limitations of language or mental comprehension.
Published content continues to evolve and improve over time. First drafts are released, and I welcome any constructive feedback: edits, factual corrections, or content suggestions.
Exact words and identifying characteristics such as pronouns or names are redacted or changed for any writers who have not given me written permission to identify them or use their writing.
